1. A Dominants Prayer
2. A Master's Guidelines
3. I Am A Dominant
4. Knot's Tips For Improving Your sub
5. Memo to Dominants
6. Responsibilities of a Dom
7. Self Discipline For Dominants
8. Ten Commandments
9. The Charge of a Master
10. The Dominant's Creed
11. The Duties of a Dom
12. The Loving Dominant
13. The Master's Creed
14. The Seven Pillars Of Dominance
15. Top Ten Rules for Dominants
16. What is a Dom
17. What Sort of Man

1. A Dominants Prayer

To the power more powerful then myself, I was born in a way that has sometimes left me mystified.
Always reaching to guide those about me.
Needing to know that they are fulfilled before true fulfillment reaches in to caress my soul .

I have compromised, in many cases, to allow another to be fulfilled.
Wondering all the while how it is that they can not see me first, as I see them.
I have found myself pushing away all, in denial of my need to always consider another first.
Needing to be the one to consider others more needy then myself .

The world about me thinks that, that giving completely is reserved for those who submit.
That serving another is not for the "strong".
How could "they" be so wrong.

I love that I am the one who can be turned to.
The one to solve a problem.
The one to set the direction.
The Top.
The Dominant.

Please help me to remain focused on this need to walk to the front.
To always stop when a searching soul reaches out for a hand up.
To always be strong enough to pause when all is insanity.
To always surge forward when all has stalled.
And to give all of me to becoming ALL.

Please help me to know when the hand I extend needs to be soft.
When it needs to be harsh.
When it is needed to wipe a tear or crush a fear.
When it is needed for punishment.
And when all that is needed is a hug.

Please let my nature push through the world about me that questions.

I am a Dom.
I can be no other.
Let me be ALL that is right


Author: Grifter © Sept 1998


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2. A Master's Guidelines - by Master Stern

"The property of power is to protect." - Blaise Pascal

Guidelines are based on 5 primary principals:
Caring, Discipline, Consistency, Devotion, and Honesty

In many ways the responsibilities of the Master are simpler than those of a slave. The first of his responsibilities is self-discipline. While a slave serves solely at her Master's wish, the Master must remain, first and foremost, Master of his own realm. Nothing in the words that follow should be construed to be a slave's "bill of rights." Slaves have no rights beyond that of self-dismissal. The guidelines are for the edification and review of the Master alone.


CARING

A Master expects that his greatest burden will be in caring for and training his slaves, and he willfully and explicitly accepts that responsibility. If at any time he determines he is unable to bear this burden, he must relinquish his status of Master and release his slaves from all obligations to him. A Master understands that the basis of all his power lies in his willingness to carry this burden.

A Master must maintain a caring, compassionate environment for his slaves. He must review his performance over time, taking into account things that he does to promote the health and well-being of his subjects. Near the time of the solstice, winter and summer, he should look back and reread these self-imposed mandates, and if necessary, take corrective measures to change his own behavior. A Master has the responsibility for the physical, emotional, and fiscal well-being of his subjects. He must be sure that, should his slaves be employed for his own benefit or to benefit the household, that employment is safe. While he may deny his slaves many things, a Master must make certain that he does so out of love. He must convey to his slaves the knowledge that denial of privilege or property is not a punishment (in most cases) but part of training, an act meant to help them move forward in the journey toward ideal servitude.


DISCIPLINE

A Master must maintain a regimen of discipline that fosters the progress of his slaves into an ever more dutiful and subservient mindset. Discipline must be used to correct behavior and to train his slaves to behave in a proper and pleasing manner, according to his wishes. Punishment is to be used to offer a subject the opportunity to redeem herself after committing some transgression. It is permissible that punishment, in some form of torture, be used for the sheer delight of the Master. The Master should instruct the slave as to which function punishment is meant to serve in order that she maintain the proper mind-set while being used in such situations.


CONSISTENCY

A Master must remain consistent in matters of treatment of his slaves. Standards of behavior and discipline, established over time, must be adhered to. Not all slaves will be subject to the same standards of behavior, and the Master must clearly delineate the differences in those standards, and maintain good reasons for differences, none of which are necessarily divulged to the slaves. Variations from the standard are permissible only where specifically addressed. It is the Master's responsibility to provide an environment where his slaves can be certain that expectations of their service and behavior do not vary according to whim. If in the course of events it becomes necessary to vary rules of conduct, the Master will make sufficient explanations to his slaves in order to alleviate ambiguity and assure them of his continued Mastery in the face of changing conditions.


DEVOTION

It is of paramount importance that a Master truly love and care for his subjects. He should make his love known to his slaves from time to time. It is His duty to make any declination in his love for any subject known as soon as practical, and offer that subject an option of dismissal should such an event occur. In the event of dismissal from service, the Master will return to the subject any and all property that was wholly owned by the subject prior to rituals of enslavement. A Master should accept no slave into his service whose presence would irrevocably injure another slave's physical or emotional well-being. It is not expected that the presence of multiple slaves within the relationship will be trouble-free; expect quite the contrary. The addition of a second, and possibly third slave will create stress and give rise to issues. A Master should use such times to explore, discuss and better delineate the dynamics of the relationship.

HONESTY

A Master need not tell his slaves all he knows. He may reserve information at his discretion; however, any and all information presented to his subjects must always be the truth. Lies should not be tolerated in any form. Honesty is the basis for trust in any relationship, especially a D/s relationship. The relationship will suffer greatly as soon as the first lie is told. It is permissible to deliver misinformation to a slave during a scene where such disinformation is important to the psychological aspects of that scene, (for example, in a scene where the escalation of fear is part of drama being played out.)


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3. I Am A Dominant

That is me
Not because of what I do
Nor how I do it
Nor because I choose
I am me.

I am a Master - Not because of my name
Or because I say so
But because she submits to my dominance.
Not through physical force
Nor through force of mind
But because of the love in her heart.

I am - The Yin to her Yang
The Black to her White
The Shade to her Light
The Opening to her Closed

Without these things there is nothing
No form
No structure
No harmony
No balance
No bond

I am her Master - The guide she seeks
The control she needs
The counterbalance she desires
The strength she craves
The support she deserves

I am a Dominant. As she is mine
So am I hers.


© 2001 Lord Victor, The Sultan


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4. Knot's Tips for Improving Your submissive.


The still curious line that is running has reminded me of something I learned long ago. The power of doing one or two of these little things still amazes me, and I would recommend them as a reward, or even better, just because they have given the gift of their submission to you. Well anyway, take a look, pick one or two to try and then tell me if you don't notice a change for the better in your sub.

1. Go to a salon and give them a full treatment including hair, nails, facial, massage.
   
   
2. Take them out shopping for new cloths, this should be more the ordinary everyday cloths, something suitable for dinner and dancing. No not just one outfit, splurge and get two or three.
   
   
3. Well heck after you have the clothes from #2, take them out for dinner and dancing. Don't know how to dance? Well why not invest in ball room dancing lessons with them. The once a week "date" for the next 6 to 8 weeks is bound to improve rhythm for more then just dancing. <NUDGE nudge>
   
   
4. Write them a letter from the heart, tell them (again) about the little things they do (non-sexual is a lot better then focusing on the sex stuff) that endear them to you. Go to the store and get some fu fu paper (fancy stationary) and write the note on that. Don't put all these things in one note, naw stretch it out and give them a note a night for the next 2 weeks with one or two things on it.
   
   
5. Go to a college or university with a photo of your submissive, find an art student and commission a small painting or sketch of your submissive (include yourself in the picture to). You will be amazed how much you can get with $35 to $50 or even more, yeah I remember needing party money in college. Well once it is done, take your submissive out for a candle lit dinner and then say something like, wow this night is so beautiful it should be captured in a painting, or something of the like, get the conversation going about things that you have seen that are so beautiful that they should be put in pictures. After a little while, look at them in THAT special way and then pull out the picture and give it to them. Sure this one takes a lot of prep, but trust me, its way worth it.
   
   
6. Find a day when your submissive looks really beat, wait until she sits down to watch TV. Go and get a large bowl of warm water, some liquid soap, a towel and some lotion. Then sit at your submissives feet, undress them if necessary, and then wash, dry and massage their feet. When they ask why the heck your doing that, simply say, because you looked like you needed it.

Ok so there is a starter to get you thinking, yes some of these take money, others are freebies more or less. You don't have to spend a lot of money, but I think the tip here is that you DO HAVE TO INVEST SOME TIME. I promise you that in both time and money these types of things are good investments, and see if your submissive isn't improved greatly. Show a little appreciation, care, and thoughtfulness and you both will reap the rewards.


-Mstr4GetMeKnot


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5. Memo to Dominants

Don't spoil me.
I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for.
I'm only testing you.

Don't be afraid to be firm with me.
I prefer it, it makes me feel secure.

Don't let me form bad habits.
I have to rely on you to detect them in a early stage.

Don't make me feel smaller then I am.
It only makes me behave stupidly "big".

Don't correct me in front of people if you can help it.
I'll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

Don't make me feel that my mistakes are sins.
It upsets my sense of values.

Don't protect me from consequences.
I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

Don't be too upset when I say "I hate you".
Sometimes it isn't you I hate but your power thwart to me.

Don't take too much notice of my ailments.
Sometimes they get me attention I don't need.

Don't nag.
If you do, I shall have to protect myself by being deaf.

Don't forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like.
That's why I am not always accurate.

Don't put me off when I ask questions.
If you do you'll find that I stop asking you and seek my information elsewhere.

Don't be inconsistent.
That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

Don't tell me my fears are silly.
They are terribly real and you can do much to reassure me if you try to understand.

Don't ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible.
It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you are neither.

Don't ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me.
An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.

Don't forget I love experimenting.
I couldn't get along without it, so please put up with it.

Don't forget how quickly I am growing up.
It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try to.

Don't forget that I don't thrive without lots of love and understanding,
But I don't need to tell you that do I?

Please keep yourself fit and healthy.
I need you.


Author Unknown


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6. Responsibilities of a Dom

• It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an unowned submissive is guided to a Dominant that is suited to the submissive's wants, needs and desires.
  
  
• It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive knows what being abusive is. To insure this is to insure the submissive knows when to call it quits.
  
  
• It is the responsibility of a Dominant to ensure the submissive knows what the submissive's rights are.
  
  
• It is the responsibility of a Dominant to teach the submissive information about the Lifestyle. The best method is to teach the submissive how to acquire this information and where he/she can get it. An ignorant submissive can be an embarrassment to a Dominant.
  
  
• It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the submissive grows and develops under the Dominant's ownership, in both the lifestyle and the public life (i.e., job and family). Being submissive only means being a "doormat" when the submissive has made it clear that is what the submissive is looking for.
  

Dishonorable Acts

• For a Dominant to allow a submissive to be actually harmed in ANY way is dishonorable.
  
  
• For a Dominant to allow a submissive's rights to be violated is dishonorable.
  
  
• For a Dominant to play with and discard a submissive just for amusement is dishonorable (exception is a submissive that has declared this is the treatment they need).
  
  
• Unless the submissive has declared themselves to be unowned, another Dominant's interference in a relationship is dishonorable.
  
  
• To chase after or scene with Another's submissive without the other Dominant's permission and full knowledge is dishonorable.
  

No Dominant can be expected to live up to the above 100% of the time, others will respect him/her for trying and the harder she/he tries the more respect all will have for the Dominant and his/hers.


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7. Self Discipline For Dominants

Self discipline is basically the same thing as self control. It is the ability to follow through with what you have set out to do and or what you have agreed to do within your relationship. For a dominant, self discipline is a must. Without the ability to control themselves, a dominant has no hope of being able to control another.

A dominant needs self discipline in order to consistently maintain his./her dominance within their relationship. It takes energy to use the control given you by a submissive. It takes self control not to abuse that control given you. Self discipline is part of what makes the difference between domination and abuse.

A dominant needs self discipline to remain calm enough that he/she can clearly make decisions which affect someone else's life in a well informed manner. A person who has trouble making simple decisions for him/herself will have a difficult time being able to make decisions which govern someone else's life. A submissve looks to his/her dominant for stability and support, if the dominant is constantly in a state of emotional overload, the submissive will not be able to rely upon him/her.

A dominant needs self discipline to exercise patience in learning to use the various implements of the lifestyle in a safe and knowledgeable manner. If a dominant refuses to exercise this self control and learn how to use the toys properly, he/she is then unable to consider themselves a safe dominant. Nothing is ever 100% safe and mistakes do happen, but they are less apt to occur with a dominant who has sufficient self control as to not do something he/she does not have knowledge of.

A dominant needs the self discipline to remain consistent within the relationship. Therefor increasing the trust the submissive has in him/her and making it possible for the submissive to view him./her as worthy of their submission. A dominant who lacks the discipline to enforce the rules he/she has set on the relationship, will soon find themselves with an unhappy and possibly rebellious submissive on their hands, if not a submissive demanding relase.

A dominant needs the self discipline to remain physically in control of their actions no matter what emotion may be coursing through them. It requires self discipline to not strike out in a fit of rage when a submissive has displeased. It requires self discipline to not allow one's "love" for their submissive to interfere with enforcing the rules.

Dominants often instill self discipline in their submissives by training them to speak more politely, control their orgasms, attain certain postures and thigns along those lines. Rarely is it discussed about how much self discipline a dominant must have as well. As you can see, self discipline is an important part of being a dominant since quite simply, without control over themselves, a dominant will be unable to control another.


Author Unknown


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8. Ten Commandments - (How to fulfill a submissive)

THOU SHALT PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS OF HER DESIRE

Find and touch her personal, "pleasure points." A sub's emotional and physical pleasure points are chinks in her "armor" that allow her to receive erotic pleasure and fulfillment.

THOU SHALT STIMULATE HER SENSES

Looking good is never bad. But women are less visual than Men, so it's vital that you speak to all her senses. Say arousing things, be clean, smell and taste pleasant and remember she is sensitive to touch. Explore the sensual paradise of her body.

THOU SHALT COMPLIMENT HER MEANINGFULLY AND OFTEN

Compliment her body, and she'll be more likely to want to share it with you. Respect her mind, and she'll give you the key to unlock her desires... Just because you've told her you love her once, doesn't mean you shouldn't tell her again--and again.

THOU SHALT ENCOURAGE HER TO SHOW/TELL WHAT PLEASES HER

Reassure her that it's okay for her to tell you what turns her on. Tell her to masturbate for you and watch her carefully, not just for your own pleasure, but to see how she likes to be touched.

THOU SHALT LISTEN TO HER THOUGHTS

Learn about who she is, what she's been through, in her life, what she needs and what she desires. Talk to her, but most of all, listen to her, and she'll never stop sharing herself with you. Discover the little girl inside your sub. Play with her, and she'll never grow old.

THOU SHALT MAKE HER LAUGH

Amuse your sub, be a fool for love. Laughter is a mental orgasm. If her Master can make her laugh, her soul will be revealed and her mind/body will belong to Him.

THOU SHALT GIVE HER REWARDS AND GIFTS

Every woman since the dawn of time has responded to a gift as if it were an erotic act. Reward her when she is "good" and surprise her at random times. The specific "gift" is not important, it could be emerald earrings, sexy lingerie, a flower plucked from a field, or your emotional support in a crisis. It is the "giving" that will win her heart and soul.

THOU SHALT RADIATE CONFIDENCE AND SENSITIVITY

Master's confidence makes her feel secure. His strength excites her. His sensitivity makes him accessible, warm and lovable. Demonstrate and talk about your feelings.

THOU SHALT UNDERSTAND AND ENJOY FOREPLAY

The key part of foreplay is "play." Be patient and sensual. Tease her mind and body. Learn to kiss, lick, and touch every part of her and allow sufficient time for her to enjoy her pleasure and reach that bliss that she seeks.

THOU SHALT EXPLORE HER DREAMS AND ENCOURAGE HER

Listen and help her to explore and understand her dreams, hopes, and ambitions. Guide and encourage her efforts to achieve her goals. Talk about and explore her sexual fantasies and help her to realize them.


Author Unknown


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9. The Charge of a Master


To Myself...

If you want a slave, If you want to keep a slave,
You must show her your strength as well as your compassion.
If you would be beloved by her, You must show her your love.
If you would be adored by her, You must cherish her.
If you would have her devoted to you, You must inspire her gratitude.
A slave gives you her heart.. As well as her body;
She gives you her trust, As well as her submission.
Never forget that what you want from her must be earned.... must be meted....
Are you worthy of such a slave as you desire?
Do you treat her with the degree of respect you expect of her?
There is such a fine line!
Love and devotion can turn to anger and resentment
If trust is betrayed, If power is abused, If your freedom becomes careless.
Discipline is not for submissives alone!
Control of a slave depends on control of yourself.
Never lose sight of your grave responsibility to one who gives herself over to you!
Never lapse into callousness or carelessness to one who has dropped her last barriers for your pleasure.
To go beyond the limits --even one step!-- of what she can handle
Turns bliss into pain and joy to grudge.
To go beyond the limits of consent is not the way of the true Master.
Petty tyrants can impose their will;
The spineless can be intimidated;
The defenseless can be brutalized;
But only a true Dominant, worthy of the name,
Can push on her limits, Freely enjoy her pleasures,
And have a lady return, again and again, In deep gratitude
For enslaving her, Carefully treated,
She becomes truly yours and will give you everything.


written by JD Rabbit
"To myself, that I may never forget"


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10. The Dominant's Creed
http://groups.msn.com/TheSultansPalace/thedominantscreed.msnw


Above all else the Dominant cherishes His submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Him is the greatest gift of all. The Dominant is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to Him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.

The Dominant is in control of himself first and foremost, so that He may control others. As a stern and demanding Master, He can cause His submissive to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, He will then kiss the tears away, without stepping out of character.

In times of trouble, a Master will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals. He is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. He would never ask a submissive to put Him before her career, or family, just to satisfy His own pleasure.

To win His submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, He knows He must first win her trust. He will show his submissive humor, kindness, and warmth. He must always show her that His guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is a Man she can learn from, and trust His direction.

He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, He will fight for his lady's honor. He proves to her that he is someone she can lean on, and depend on.

When it comes time to teach His submissive her lessons of obedience, He is a strong and unyielding professor. He will accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from His student. Never does He use discipline without a good reason. When He does it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.

He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of Him grows, so will they. He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She responds to Him out of the want of pleasing Him. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. He understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Him.

He is secure enough to laugh at Himself and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, and love. He understands that each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.


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11. The Duties of a Dom


Written by:
LES IS MORE(m)
Copyright©1998


Being Dominant/submissive is a state of mind. It is not a sex act, it is not a game and it is not a role. It is a state of being and is totally asexual (neither male nor female)

First and foremost, a Dominant is always a Gentleman or Lady. There is no excuse for being impolite or rude to others. Save this for the submissive that needs and requires this of their Dominant.

Second, a Dominant must always be in control. Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene, therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have.

A Dominant is always honest. To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must be able to trust you to respect you. Every submissive knows that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect you much more if you tell the truth. Be honest with a submissive about your level of experience with others and the submissive. The submissive can even help you to gain experience and is really an enjoyable learning process. Tell the submissive up-front if You do not wish a monogamous relationship. Most submissives understand and even expect this in a Dominant. You may not get "that" submissive but you will not loose her/his respect.

A Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions. Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it. Accept and admit the fact that you messed up. To seek an excuse for something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect.

A Dominant expects but does not demand respect. No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on your name means nothing and is a word that when not earned is meaningless and makes you to others appear to be a petty childish fool. Those that know you and respect you will call you Master or Mistress when you earn it, not before. Remember, to other Dominants you are not Their Master/Mistress you are their equal do not DEMAND them too ever call You that.

A Dominant knows and understands the differences between needs, desires and wants. The submissive may want a 24/7 relationship with an understanding Dominant. The submissive may desire a short relationship with a crude rude person. The submissive may need a stable sharing marriage with children.


Duties of a Dom

• It is the duty of a Dominant to control his/her emotions. To punish a submissive in anger or to lash out to anyone is abusive.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant to remember that submission is a gift. To misuse this gift is abusive. When the submissive is not free to take back the gift it is no longer a gift.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect all submissives. This does not mean to protect them from finding some other Dominant and to keep them for oneself.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant to take only a submissive that will match him/her. A submissive that is not into whips should not belong to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives.
  
  
• It is the Duty of a Dominant to take only the amount of submissives the DOM can properly handle, control, love, comfort and care for. Do not keep a submissive hanging, giving false hopes. Free and release the submissive so the submissive can get along with finding the right Dominant.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant to watch and monitor the scene carefully and to ensure the submissive is not being harmed either physically or emotionally. At any time the slightest thing can go wrong and the scene is ruined for the submissive and pleasure becomes actual pain.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant after a scene to ensure the submissive is emotionally stable. During a scene the submissive is filled with hormones. Afterwards the body reduces them and may cause depression. The submissive must be made to understand the depression and or emotional release is normal and expected. Normal emotions will return in hours to a day. Anything longer is a sign of emotional instability in the submissive and must be corrected before doing another scene. (A Dominant can also experience this depression after a high from the scene.) Each reacts differently some stay high for weeks and when they come down seek the scene again to regain the high. This also can lead to problems such as longer, more intense and dangerous scenes, with unknown Dominants.
  
  
• It is the duty of a Dominant to know and understand what the needs, desires and wants of a submissive are. Failure to do so may harm the submissive emotionally and mentally.

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12. The Loving Dominant (Master or Mistress)


In the D/s relationship, the Dominant accepts a serious responsibility - nurturing, directing and developing the submissive - with the sole objective of providing personal and life benefits to the submissive. In becoming their Master or Mistress, the Dominant becomes the guiding light to their submissive … providing clarity of action & thought, focus of energy and emotion and, guidance and wisdom to help their submissive navigate the many twists and turns of that journey called life. In addition, the Dominant provides safety and comfort … protecting and enveloping their submissive with the comfort and knowledge that they are loved and safe with their chosen one. By becoming a constant in their submissive’s life and thoughts, the Dominant provides a stability and consistency … a safe haven within which their submissive can freely and safely become all that they can.


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13. The Master's Creed


As it is often important and often even necessary for one human being to have certainty and a clear understanding of the intentions, desires, motivations, and needs of another, I offer this testimony in trust and sincerity. I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part, not because I feel more intelligent or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or the mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet, to you I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind, and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We complement each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong, and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your word with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural, and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to be. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body, mind, and soul. I dominate you only because you have allowed me to, and when I see your body kneel before me in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women and all the treasures of the earth.

Within the bounds of our relationship...it is my duty to protect you, and that you will know, that under my care; NO harm will come to you as a result of actions taken by Me, or you. That is my responsibility, to protect you... from yourself if necessary.

What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.


Author Unknown


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14. The Seven Pillars Of Domminance


The topic of experience often comes up when discussing BDSM. Experience is the sum-total of everything we have learned in a given field, and everything that we will learn in the future. I was born a dominant and actively entered this lifestyle when I was seventeen, over two decades ago. I find myself today at the extreme " hard-line" end of the BDSM spectrum, a minority within a minority. Do I have experience? Yes. Do I hold strong views? Certainly- even controversial ones. Do I have much still to learn? Of course. Everyone does. What I have learned thus far can be summed up as follows:

• A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
  
  
• A dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and most of all requires humility.
  

In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige.

If a dominant is the center of a submissives universe, it is because she thinks so, not because he does. No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just coz. The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.


Author Unknown


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15. Top Ten Rules for Dominants

1. Be Patient! Until you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give your bottom time to get to know you and what you are like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.
   
   
2. Be Humble You may be God's/Goddess' gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you claim, the "real you" will show through in a scene. Don't set yourself up for a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.
   
   
3. Be Open Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in SM, you can always learn from your bottom, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing to learn from other dominants that may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-no-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery. Be aware that everyone has his or her own personal style.
   
   
4. Communicate! You are responsible for finding out basic, essential information about the people you play with, such as experience, limits, likes and dislikes, and health information. Playing SM without this knowledge is like Russian roulette. Talk about your head-space and your view of SM with your bottom, so that any uncertainties can be dealt with before you start playing. Clearly spell out roles, rules, limits and contracts. Do not take for granted that your bottom instinctively knows the ground rules.
   
   
5. Be Honest If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like to experiment with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situations. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.
   
   
6. Be Sensitive.There's a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominant and a self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a creative synthesis of your needs and fantasies and your bottom's needs and fantasies. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it appropriately.
   
   
7. Be Realistic. End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing there had been less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Your favorite porno picture books may be stimulating in themselves, but don't try to imitate them to the last detail.
   
   
8. Be Really Dominant! Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images from cigarette ads or macho stereotypes. Your dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up of substitute for other areas of your life - it is you. Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately when it is called for. Don't shrink your responsibility to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have agreed to take the dominant role - now take it!
   
   
9. Be Healthy! Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants be in top physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the amount you sleep, your eating habits, and your alcohol and drug intake affect your performance and endurance during a scene. Don't attempt SM when your physical or emotional energy is low. As a dominant you have a special responsibility to be in control of yourself and on top of the scene. An attitude of "drugs and alcohol don't affect me that much... I can do it anyway" violates your submissives trust in you and can be dangerous. If you don't want to accept the responsibilities, you shouldn't be playing the game!
   
   
10. Have Fun! After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned, and you are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come from responsible SM play.

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16. What Is A Dom?


I am a dominant man.
I am just that.
I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part.
Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser.
I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body.
I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.
Yes to you, I am Master.
I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness.
I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions.
You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions.
You tell me of the needs of your heart and body.
You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.
You are a woman.
You are not weak or inferior because of it.
You are a treasure to be cherished.
We are not equal.
I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you.
You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart.
Your belief in me gives me courage and direction.
Your strength disperses my doubt.
Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.
We are not equal.
We are halves of a whole.
We compliment each other and make each other complete.
My desire to dominate you is instinctive.
It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine.
We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.
You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood.
You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion.
You expect a man to stand strong and be a man.
You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man.
In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart.
You submit because I have earned your trust.
Because I have opened my heart and soul to you.
Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions.
And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.
What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man.
You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your committment to me.
Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility.
I accept this from you with humility and joy.
I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.
I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind.
I dominate you only because you have allowed it.
I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other women, and all the treasures of the earth.
What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

~ author - Michael P. Feb 1994 ~


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17. What Sort of Man


A Man who displays sensitivity will be a Master who is sensitive to you.

A Man who displays humility will be a Master who will show you respect.

A Man who is not afraid to cry will be a Master who understands your tears.

A Man who is quiet will be a Master who will hear your quietest whisper.

A Man who knows fear will be a Master who will not leave you to face yours alone.

A Man who will listen to a child will be a Master who will always work to understand your words.

A Man who can stand alone will be a Master who will not crush you under His weight.

A Man who controls Himself with ease will be a Master with the ability to control you in the same way.

A Man who does not have to prove His point will be a Master with many worthwhile points to share.

A Man who never makes demands will be a Master who treasures anything you give.

A Man who doesn't run after you will be a Master you will never need to run away from.

A Man who is calm will be a Master who can weather your storms.

A Man who has walked the path to peace will be a Master able to guide you along that path.

A Man who does not shout will be a Master who will never deafen you.

A Man who knows Himself will be a Master who will have time to know you.

A Man with an open mind will be a Master who never stops learning.

A Man who never stops learning will be a Master who never stops growing.

and

A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.


Author Unknown


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