1. Bondage
2. Whips, Crops, Paddles, & Canes.... etc.
3. Piercing
4. Golden and Brown Showers
5. Electricity
6. Breath Control
7. Vaginal and Anal Play
8. Clear Headed
9. Truth, Truth, Truth

1. Bondage

There are nearly as many ways to tie up a person as there are people who like to be tied. There's gently play bondage, using soft, furry Love Cuffs or Velcro-secured Sport Sheets. There are silk-scarf bondage, secure and intricate rope restriction, and the cold, hard reality of metal handcuffs or shackles. There are spread-eagle or suspension positions incorporating fancy leather jackets, or even head-to-toe, custom-made restriction suits. There's even total immobilization restraint using wrap after wrap where the restrictee is unrecognizable, a leather or rubber sack, complete with hood, blindfold, gag, and enough straps to bind an angry rhinoceros. Bondage is so popular that in some countries, like France and Japan, they have developed their own special styles of restriction.

Bondage is popular and fun, but the more stringent forms of restriction can be tricky business if you don't know basic safety. Always remember that the person being tied is the one at risk. The recipients must take responsibility for themselves no matter how submissive or excited they are. They must be honest about any physical or emotional frailties they have, like poor circulation or claustrophobia, and they mustn't be afraid to speak up beforehand or personally inspect a bondage apparatus, if they feel insecure about it. Anything involving suspension, rotation, or inversion should be most suspect, because these are the most dangerous forms of bondage. Think, "Is this pulley anchored into the ceiling strong enough to support my weight, even if I'm upside down in a cocoon sack, ready to drop onto your head like a pile driver if the pulley gives way.

The Dominant tying you up has Their responsibilities too. They must be cognizant of your physical and emotional state, and monitor both while you are in bondage. They must never put overly snug straps or ropes over your pressure points, no matter how much you beg for it to be tighter. They must be able to evaluate your size and weight and know the limits of Their restriction gear. They must remember the key to your handcuffs if They want to avoid one of life's most embarrassing moments with the neighborhood locksmith. They must also clean and maintain all Their bondage equipment in good condition. Unraveling stitches or a missing rivet-fastening can mean a failed restraint, which can possibly mean injury. The most important bondage safety rule of all is a simple one. No Dominant should ever leave the submissive while Their submissive is in bondage. The Dominant can pretend to leave, stepping noisily out of the room for erotic effect, but damn Them before Their peers if They ever did really leave Their submissive alone in bondage. That would be inexcusable!

Back to Top

2. Whips, Crops, Paddles, & Canes... etc

Stroke them well, but know Your aim

Flagellation is probably the one act most associated with BDSM play, It's a classic scene. The submissive poses at the ready, back and buttocks bare, hands and arms restrained and hoisted overhead by a stout chain. The Dominant stands behind Their submissive subject, whip in hand, wrist supple, eye keen, measuring the distance and choosing Their targets. Now is the make-or-break moment. Does the Dominant really know how to use a whip safely or do They just look and act like They do?

Safe whipping, flogging, and caning doesn't mean painless whipping, flogging, and caning. It just means you won't have to go straight from the play room to the hospital. Choice of implement is the first is the first consideration in safe BDSM. Spankings, with a bare hand or ordinary paddle, are safe and harmless as long as the Spanker keeps to the "cheeks" and carries on neither too long nor too hard. Multi-standed floggers are the next step down the safety chart. Safer floggers have plain, cut strands in grades of leather from Chamois to bull hide. More serious flogger have braided strands with knotted ends, which are on par with single strand whips, like bull ships or signal ships, for ferocity. These braided floggers, like signal whips, can break skin easily and cause a lot of damage if they are misused. Riding crops, English canes and metal-reinforced straps are also nothing to sneeze at. They can easily do damage if not handled properly.

Presentation is the key to safe flagellation. For instance, multi-stranded floggers should be combed with the fingers every few strokes so the strands don't bunch or knot and end up clubbing the submissive instead of tantalizing them. Crops and canes have a "sweet spot," the outer third of the implement farthest from the grip. A contact point closer to the grip of the implement causes reverberation, which is ineffective and sloppy. Contact on the "sweet spot," affords maximum snap. This way the stroke doesn't have to be hard to be effective. You just don't want to use the very tip of a cane because it can gouge if the stroke is too forceful. With longer whips, either single or multi-stranded, the thing to watch out for is "wrap around". Distancing Yourself correctly from the submissive is the key to safety. If You're too close the body of the whip will make contact before the tip, hence the tip will accelerate and wrap around the front of the submissive causing results more serious than You intended, and in a place You weren't aiming for.

Safe BDSM requires basic knowledge of anatomy. In other words, know where and where not to whip. It's quite simple. The safest areas are the upper back and buttocks. Areas okay for careful, less severe flagellation include the backs of the thighs, the chest or bosom, and the soles of your feel. Do not aim for the face or head. Do not aim for the small of the back where your kidneys are located. Do not strike at the genitals accept in the gentlest of "teasers" and do not strike at any joint area, like the backs of the knees, where tendons are vulnerable. The amount of strength You put behind a stroke is also a big concern. Choose the right implement and You won't have to wail away with all Your muscle. Most importantly don't use a whip, flogger or cane at all if you can't put it where it is intended to go. Bad aim can be very dangerous, especially if Your putting some oomph behind it.

Back to Top

3. Piercing

A lot of people, both Dominant and submissive enjoy some form of piercing during an BDSM session. We're not talking about cosmetic punctures in order to sport a ring in the ear lobe, we mean piercing purely for the pain and invigoration of the act itself. Some submissives like a needle or two in their nipples, or down in their scrotum or labia. There's even a few piercing fanatics who end up looking like a pin cushion after their Dominant get through with them. Both participants of needle play must be in good health and disease free. Make sure the needles are always clean and sterile. Pre-clean the area to be pierced with disinfectant and properly treat the piercing after removing the needles. The piercer should wear surgical gloves, mask and eye protection. A bizarre rubber gas mask will do nicely. All piercing should be in fleshy areas only, away from eyes, flexible joints, etc. All piercing should be topical in nature, no more than an eighth inch deep. If Y/you are at all unsure about giving or receiving a piercing do not hesitate to check with a medical professional first.

Back to Top

4. Golden and Brown Showers

Toilet Training is a remarkable popular form of humiliation for many submissives. Because of this, quite a Dominants comfortably perform golden showers. Fewer Dominants engage in fecal scenarios, but those that do are in big demand. German Dominants refer to these piss-and-scat games as Champagne & Caviar.

Urinating or defecating ON someone is safe enough, as long as both participants are healthy and disease free, have no open cuts or scrapes to get infected, and everyone and everything gets cleaned up well afterwards. Urinating or defecating INTO someone is another matter. Urine is actually a sterile liquid. Taken in small quantities it is harmless enough, though it may have a bit more "nose" than a good chardonnay. Ingesting up to a pint or so is okay. Gulping a gallon of the golden stuff could be mildly detrimental because it can throw off your body's electrolyte balance. Urine is comprised of uric acid, after all. For those of you who prefer a little crap a la carte, we highly recommend you choose something else from the menu. Consuming feces is just plain bad for you. It's contaminated waste, riddled with bacteria. If ingested it can cause hepatitis, and you might be shopping for a new liver real soon. No matter how much it intrigues you to "Eat shit", there are much better things to eat.

Back to Top

5. Electricity

A variety of electro-stimulation devices are currently marketed that enhance sexual pleasure or create localized discomfort, depending on how they are used. Functional electro-stimulation or F.E.S. involves the gradual depolarization of living cells. In other words, good zap. Rapid depolarization of cells is called electroshock. Bad zap. Quite a few Dominants advertise the use of electro-stimulation, but we advise caution for all concerned. The most popular devices are TENS units, which are in fact class 3 medical units that officially require a medical prescription for use. There are some that manufacture these units and can be found on the net, they will come with user friendly instruction and safety warnings. Please read them carefully before using.

Here's electro-play safety in a nutshell, if a Dominant wants to put jumper cables on your nipples and rev up her car engine, get the hell out of there! Electro-stimulation should take place only below the waist. Again, that's BELOW THE WAIST! Do not connect anything on the nipples or near the neck or head. Use only equipment that has been manufactured and rated for safe stimulation. Do not get hooked up to some homemade Dr. Frankenstein gadget plugged into a wall socket. And remember, there is no such thing as a 100% safe voltage level. Under the right circumstances a person can get a heart attack from the weak little trickle of electricity that powers your telephone. Be safe. Learn about electric play before you use it and buy only equipment that comes with good safety instructions.

Back to Top

6. Breath Control

Possibly the one BDSM activity requiring the most safety consideration is respiration training. A few submissives seek the absolute trust and surrender associated with the precarious activity and it takes a very cautious and attentive Dominants to perform it.

Dominant/submissive breath control most usually involves the use of rubber bondage hoods or gas masks, along with inflatable gags or tubular breathing snorkels. Often these tubes have a cutoff valves for the Dominants to manipulate. To be most effective, the subject should be heavily restricted, often in a leather or rubber body bag with tight straps.

Breath control games should not be confused with sexual asphyxiation, which has been sensationalized in the press and caused grievous injury or death to those trying it on their own. Breath control does not involve any form of choking or strangulation. Properly done, the Dominant monitors the air supply to the submissive, cutting it off for brief periods and turning it back on for maximum effect. It is intended to create utter helplessness in the submissive and absolute power and control in the Dominant. There are two critically important safety rules to this very serious fantasy activity. 1). The Dominant must be at her submissives side at all times, must not be impaired or encumbered in any way by drink, drugs or restrictive costume, and she must not be distracted by the telephone, doorbell, or anything, or anyone that could take Their attention away from Their submissive. 2). At all times during respiration training, the Dominant must have a sharp tool handy, like scissors, to puncture or cut any tubes, gags, or rubber that covers the face or mouth of the submissive in case of an emergency. Sometimes You can't wait to unbuckle the gas mask, You just have to cut it quick and pull it off.

One word of warning to those submissive readers who might wish to try this activity. Do not attempt it on your own, and not with a novice Dominant or any Dominant whom you do not trust implicitly! Your life is literally in Their hands!

Back to Top

7. Vaginal and Anal Play

Insertable plugs, dildos, and catheters tend to find their way into many a submissives intimate nooks and crannies. A lot of Dominants enjoy using probes, strap-ons and other niceties. For this reason, oral, anal, penile, or vaginal penetration needs to be safe. Anything to be inserted must be clean and disinfected, and made from a smooth, flexible, solid material that can't break, become fragmented, or create suction. Both the Dominant and submissive should agree on the size and shape of the appliance to be used. Even if you bring your own personal dildo it is still good practice to use a condom on it. If using a Dominants dildo, insist on this sort of protection even if it's spotlessly clean. Also, always use a non petroleum-based lubricant. KY jelly is good. Vaseline is not. Look on the label if you're unsure.

Back to Top

8. Clear Headed

If you want to feel safe, secure, and able to enjoy all the available pleasure that a good BDSM scene can provide then it is critical that you and your Dominant remain sober and in full charge of your faculties. If you are drunk, you are a nuisance to your Dominant. if you are so high you feel no pain, you are dangerous to yourself. If your Dominant is influenced by either drink or drugs, the whole scene is jeopardized. The idea of a kinky scene is to get high from the bondage, the humiliation, or the sting of a whip, it is not? Don't dilute that sexual and emotional buzz with liquor or drugs. It's not smart and it's not safe!

Back to Top

9. Truth, Truth, Truth

Little white lies are a part of life, but they are not part of a good, safe BDSM scene. A Dominant and her submissive must be honest with each other if they expect to have a rewarding scene. For instance, what if your Dominant tells you that They have years of experience with electro-stimulation or catherterization when They actually have none? The potential for calamity is very read. On the other hand what if you are turned on by the appearance of a gorgeous, leather-clad Dominant who happens to be quite cruel and sadistic, yet you're a BDSM lightweight (new). If you lie about your pain limits or physical boundaries in an attempt to impress Them, you could be setting yourself up for an unpleasant and unsafe situation. What if you have poor circulation, hemophilia, claustrophobia, or respiratory problems? If you don't tell your Dominant about these infirmities and They put you in tight bondage, pierce you, enclose you in a confining space or make you wear a breath-restricting gas mask, your sunk. Don let your pride, your greed or your libido get the better of you!

Remember, safe, sane and consensual fantasies are honest fantasies!

Back to Top