1. A male submissives Creed
2. FAQ's for male submissives
3. Fisting - is it Safe, Sane & Possible

1. A male submissives Creed

I am creative, courageous and honorable.

I have many strengths.

I have power, intellligence and wit.

I use these qualities to empower, protect and bring happiness to others.

I joyfully surrender them to she who knows and cherishes their value.

There is no greater deed than to give oneself utterly to another.

I offer myself in heart and body to my Mistress, my Lady; so that I may be fulfilled by meeting her needs, and that she may expose me to the very core of my being, learn my strengths and weaknesses and teach me to better know myself.

My self and my strength and my love are hers to call her own, in honor of her beauty, her wisdom, and her strength, which mirrors and enhances my own.

I serve her with honesty, valor and trust.

I avoid putting myself first, but not at the expense of my identity.

I seek always to clearly communicate my needs and my fears to her.

I am her champion, her warrior, the guardian of her honor as she requires. I will defend her to the uttermost limits of my strength but, standing before her, I lay aside all defenses.

Knowing my power, I kneel humbly before you.

Knowing my intelligence, I am guided by you.

Knowing my creativity, I am inspired by you.

Knowing my wit, I gain pleasure from your laughter.

Remembering my honor, I am loyal to you.

Knowing my courage, I place myself at your mercy.

I offer her my trust and respect, and I have few gifts more precious than those.

When we journey along together, she recognizes my needs and, when she takes me to places I have never been, protects me from harm.

I ask her to lead me in turning my weaknesses to strengths, so that I may better serve her.

I ask that she protects me from harm, and surrounds me with her warmth and guidance when I am faced with my darkest self.

I look to her, to have the wisdom to know when to push me to grow, when to teach me discipline and when to show me her gentleness and mercy.

I trust her to heed my voice and views, to nurture my love and desire for her, to approach my failings with humor, compassion, and firmness as necessary for the good of us both, to bring shape and meaning to our lives.

In return, I offer her all that I am, in joyful and complete devotion.


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2. FAQ's for male submissives

How do I become submissive ... ?

I have been asked this question many times over the years. I still continue to ask this very same question of others, both in person and in online chat rooms. For some of us, the discovery comes late in life. For others, we've known that we are "different" from childhood.

Many of us felt the need or at least a very strong interest very early in our lives. How many times did you volunteer to be the "Indian" in Cowboys and Indians game? How many times were you the "bad child" when you played house? Do you remember contriving a way to be the one that was either spanked or tied up?

It dawned on me when I was seven years old, and was watching a movie: "Hercules vs. The Amazons", or some such fare. The theme was women riding roughshod over men other women. (Although Hercules ultimately did triumph)

I watched as the women controlled the men and even beat their captives occasionally. I felt as though someone had reached into my brain and pushed a button. Perhaps I will never have concrete rational reason, but "This is waaaay cool!" pretty much describes my response to that movie. And it remains the same to this day.

How do we become "submissive"?

Submission isn't a club. You don't join the "brotherhood of " on a whim. It's something that is very integral to our very beings.

How we get there varies between individuals. The catalyst can be something as simple as a gesture, a phrase, or a look from a dominant female. For others, something more complex is required in order to explore this more thoroughly. Role-playing offers a "comfortable" means of exploring this side of our personality.

Who do we submit to ...?

If your natural tendency is as a submissive individual, almost any strong personality will overwhelm us. I will admit when I have not had a "fix" of submission, I have to make a very conscious effort to avoid being bowled over by dominant personalities. Even in the most vanilla settings.

Any strong dominant personality can offer us the type of exchange that we seek. Personally, I prefer the female of the species, but that’s just my preference. I looked for and need something beyond just D/S in a relationship. It had to be at least a "friends who play together" situation.

When I first became active I patronized and played with Professional Dommes. Partly due to my personal situation at the time, and my initial shyness.

Those were rewarding experiences, and aided my growth and understanding of my needs and the scene itself. I credit one Lady in particular for opening my eyes to the fact that D/S) did not have to stay a fantasy. A doubt that had nagged at my mind for years. She showed me that there are countless others like me, or similar to me, out there! Eventually I desired more than to scene, and then go home. I NEEDED D/s in my life. I needed more than an arm swinging a whip or a booted foot in front of my face to worship. There has to be (IMHO) some level of friendship involved. I do not feel that I am unique in this aspect. We all need and want to be liked and respected for the human beings that we are. We are first and foremost, men and women; not Submissives and Dommes.

Why do I submit ... ?

Submitting to a dominant female allows me to drop my "maleness" at the door and become a sometimes fragile human being.

The daily stress of my professional life can become overwhelming at times. I have to make decisions that affect others; some positive, often times, negatively . As a heterosexual male, I am expected to wear a persona of "masculinity".

Submission, by and large is considered by many a weakness. In my opinion, submission is not a symbol of weakness, but rather one of strength. It takes almost inhuman strength to let go of the pain and the humiliation and anger and all the other emotions that we face every single day of our lives. My release oftentimes comes in the form of tears. Remember, we are raised as children to believe that tears were for "sissies" and were not allowed to shed tears. One of the reasons that I submit is to surrender to my need to cry. To shed tears that would otherwise be considered "unmanly". My Mistress calls them her "gift".

Submission does not mean I have a low opinion of myself. It does not mean I crave humiliation or embarrassment at the hands of every person, or dominant female I cross paths with. What it does mean though, is that I am free to "let go" of the daily stresses where I am in charge. Where I am in control. I can safely let another guide me while soaring within "subspace".

Who is a submissive ... ?

Submissives come in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life. From blue collar workers to professionals; Computer geeks and tradesmen. The entire spectrum is covered. Personally, I have yet to notice any one group producing more male submissives over another. Do not be dismayed if in your day-to-day life you are a dominant individual.

What is a submissive ... ?

Websters Dictionary defines "submitting" as 1 :to commit to the discretion or decision of another or of others 2 :YIELD, SURRENDER

A submissive is an individual that "chooses" to place his or her control into the hands of a dominant personality. To yield or surrender his or her own choices to another person. We seek out these types of individuals because we need validation of some kind. Can you imagine standing in front of a mirror and playing both roles? Impossible.

Is it sexual ... ?

Sometimes, it is. It's almost always sexual in nature, although not always sensual. We use sex as the "excuse" to submit. I admit it can be very erotic. Especially if Mistress wants to exert "sexual control" over me. It's very powerful to have my orgasms controlled by her. To have to ask for permission to obtain release is very demeaning and yet exciting.

For many, the mere fact that a woman is going to take control translates into something sexual. The sexual arena typically ruled by the Males of our species now becomes the place of power for the female. The female, once thought of as the "weaker sex" becomes the stronger of the two. A mutual exchange of power takes place. By taking submission into this arena, lends a new type of power to the "weaker sex". Our maleness becomes her tool in which to exert her own special brand of "control" over us. Our masculinity is oftentimes mocked. We are "forced" to wear female clothing. What can be more submissive than to wear a garter belt and stockings? There are few boundaries that can be crossed with greater impunity than the bedroom.

The dominant female recognizes and uses this place as her pedestal in which to stand above us. It is from this vantage point that she can begin to exert her control over us. We give this to her willingly. To be taken to a realm that ordinarily would be forbidden. There is a price for this. She demands pleasure. What form does this "pleasure" take? It can be anything from a simple foot rub to kneeling in a corner, in silence. Anything that can reduce us to the subservient male that She desires will bring her pleasure and allow us release and freedom. Submission like sex, shares one commonality. Exposure. You're revealing a lot about yourself by the mere act of submitting.

Is it painful ...?

My Mistress calls it "sensation play". I am a pain pup. That is to say, that I am an avowed Masochist. In my early days, I thought I was a pervert because I wanted "pain". I needed pain. I told myself that I must be a bad person because of this and should be punished. Punishment allows us to embrace our masochism in a more "justified" manner. We take on the "I'm a bad person" and need to be punished persona in order to get what we want and sometimes need. For others, receiving pain is the means needed to become submissive. It does not always involve receiving pain (though personally, I am more than a bit of a pain pup). It varies with the individual. I will not attempt to explain the rationale behind my needing pain. Some experts would ascribe it to an "endorphin addiction". For me, it's a ride on the wild side; I soar and fly in my own freedom of self. I know that my Mistress will guide me through this journey and bring me back to earth, safe and sound; happy and whole once more. The basic thing is to acknowledge the need within and act accordingly.

In all things, caution and moderation should be the rule of the day. Experiment with sensations. Don't be afraid to say "NO" to something that scares you. Set limits and boundaries. Identify which boundaries are non-negotiable and which limits are expandable.

Where can I find more information ... ?

The following is a list of books available, both online and in some of the larger book stores. These books can help answer some of your questions regarding the psychology of why we do what we do. Almost all of these books are available online at www.qualitysm.com or amazon.com.

1. SM:101 by Jay Wiseman; Greenery Press ISBN# 0-9639763-8-9
2. Sensous Magic by Pat Califa.
3. The Bottoming Book: How To Get Terrible Things Done To you By Wonderful People; Easton
4. Consensual Sadomasochism: How to talk about it and how to do it safely; by William Henkins, Daedalus published in 1996
5. Erotic Power: An Exploration of Dominance and Submission; ISBN # 0-8065-0968-6
6. S & M: Studies in Domminance & Submission; ISBN # 0-87985-978-X

The following are just pretty good books... for different reading... humor, information, etc.

1. Miss Abernathy's concise slave training manual ; San Francisco, Greenery Press, 1996 ISBN # 0-9639763-9-7
2. Erotic Tales of Women's Power....By Her Subdued......(and) No Other Attributes; Rhinocereos, c1995
3. Submissions; New York Masquerade Books Rhinoceros publishing ISBN # 1-56333-207-8
4. Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance & Submission; NY Random House, 1993 ISBN # 0-679-40873-8
5. Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission; NY Random House, 1993 ISBN # 0-679-76956-0
6. Mistress Mine Masquerade NY 1993 ISBN # 1-56333-109-8
7. Masochism; Zone Books 1991 ISBN # 0-942299-55-8
8. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism; Mystic Rose Books, 1995 ISBN # 0-9645960-0-8
9. Venus in Furs; NY Blasts Books 1989 ISBN # 0-922233-01-2
10. The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners by Lady Green; Greenery Press Lady Green describes how to do an SM Scene in a simple step-by-step way. For someone who's very nervous about trying SM, this is the most non-intimidating book that we've seen. It has sections on sensations, playing with roles, and helplessness.
11. Getting Her Interested by Lorelei; A practical guide for the submissive man who wants to encourage his partner to develop her dominant side. How can you first introduce the subject? What should you avoid saying or doing? Lorelei includes guidelines for your first scene.
12. S&M: A Players Handbook by Lady Tanith A guide for novices, with sections on starting to play, toys & techniques, and finding a partner.

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3. Fisting - Is It Safe, Sane & Possible?

Yes, as long as a Domina knows what she's doing. Not for the Novice, it requires mastery of the four T's: Time, Total relaxation, Training and a Ton of lubrication.

Another factor to consider: a Dominatrix with hands smaller than a shoebox. An amusing thought, but important to a successful fisting.

Proper preparation is crucial. As with any rectal play, the anal cavity must be scrupulously clean and free of all fecal matter. Besides the obvious (the extreme rudeness of presenting a dirty bottom to a Mistress) there is a medical reason for such care. The mucous membranes lining the rectal cavity might be scratched or abraded by the fecal matter itself, opening the peritoneal cavity to massive infection ... a potentially life threatening situation without prompt proper medical care.

Training: Your body must adjust to constantly larger dildos; when you're comfortably able to accept a dildo 3 inches in diameter your rectum is ready to receive a fist. For this you must learn to relax the sphincter muscle. Those who cannot master proper relaxation techniques are prime candidates for an unscheduled visit to their local ER. (Hint - practice deep abdominal breathing techniques to help yourself relax.)

Furthermore, for this discipline, DO NOT ever use a water-soluble lubricant; they're thin and tend to dry out over the length of a fisting session. What should you use? A can of Crisco. (I use the pre-packaged sticks of Crisco. One stick is usually more than enough and if there's any of the open stick left over, throw it away.) Buy the smallest can you are able to find if you can't get the sticks and discard anything left over.

Note: Never use Crisco during intercourse or with a condom; it destroys the latex. And, although fisting done properly is pain-free, be advised fisting is not listed in the category of safe sex. Which is why, highly pleasurable though the practice may be for my people, I can only recommend a few other Dommes equally as skilled who can safely perform a fisting. It takes years of skill, knowledge, expertise and experience to keep a submissive safe; the most important factor in any session.

Lady Scorpion © 1999


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